Fashion Statement?

I think not.  Its that annoying purple stuff - gentian violet - that our parents used on us when we were infants to beat thrush.  Its purple & its messy & its dry.  Unfortunately its is supposed to be the best treatment for this nasty case of thrush/yeast infection we are battling.  This stuff stains everything, so you can imagine my reaction at 12:30am when I managed to spill half the bottle across the bathroom counter & everything on it, during my first attempt to use the stuff. It's been making both of us uncomfortable & cranky, but we're tough & we are getting through it :)

It's been quite the adjustment for the 2 of us.  Complimentary to this silly purple medicine (which goes on the baby's mouth & the mom's nipples), we are on a restricted diet, flucanzole (pills for mom), niastatin (for baby - at least it tastes like bananas), nipple ointment cream, grapefruit seed extract & pro biotic supplements.  That's no all...there are the bra-boiling & vinegar rinse routines to go along with the whole regime.  Needless to say our day is pretty jam packed with beating this 'systemic yeast infection'.  I don't think it is even bothering her, but my poor baby has to go through all of this just to help her mom feel better, so we don't keep infecting one another.  All I have to say is thank goodness I am on my hubby's health plan.

Could this have been avoided...probably not, but had I known what I know now perhaps could have been dealt with more effectively.  Which brings me to the observation that mothers do not talk about these types of problems to 'non-mothers' until they become mothers & go through it themselves, only after we started having the problems, did I come to know what can happen & how common these problems are (& I do appreciate all the advice given).  I've been told that this is a protective maternal strategy, where existing mothers who have gone through it all don't want to scare other childless women into not having children...however I must say I am the kind of person that would like to know what can potentially go wrong so I can better deal with it.  So here is my honest rendition of my experience & for those of you who have not yet experienced the pain & joy of becoming a mother (listen to me all experienced now, ha!) proceed with caution as I blog about my sore boobs, but please read on if you would like to learn more about what you may be able to prevent or prepare yourself for.   

So how this all started is not for us to know, but I suspect, due to my history of chronic systemic yeast infections, I started it.  A friend warned me to get checked out for a yeast infection & treated if necessary before my baby is born to avoid thrush.  I mentioned this to my doctor, but he sort of brushed it off as a common thing (thrush) & not a big deal if it happens.  As much as I like our doctor, he obviously has never attempted to latch a newborn to his bleeding nipple.   I'll only make a mere mention of the irritation below the waist (again from the yeast infection) - which is there, but second to the drama that is going on between baby & nipple.

The first challenge of becoming a mother: learning to breastfeed...like all newbies, this is something that mom & baby need to figure out between to two of them (a little guidance is helpful - nurses shoving their hands between baby & boobs & squishing baby's face into your nipple is not helpful) .  I think had I gone to the breastfeeding clinic on my due date (which I have no excuse, other than I wasn't feeling up to it) I may have been a little more prepared. I am still a little confused as to where we went wrong int he beginning (or if the yeast infection, which will cause cracks, started from the beginning) as every time I would try to get help the nurse would say "it looks like she has a good latch."  But it still hurt.  Once in a while one of them would make a comment on how strong of a sucker she is, or how much of a piggy she is (whether latched on properly or not, she was getting her milk).  In fact in our first attempt to feed, the kid gave me a hickey just below the nipple.  It didn't take long for the nipples to start cracking, bleeding & scabbing, but I was too stubborn & naive to try anything else.  Then came the puffy, red & sensitive rash-like sensation on the nipples.  And I became what my husband would call "much more hormonal."

So here we are 3 weeks later, & finally I can bear the feeding on one side (with little or no pain in fact) & the cracks are healing up, I can see the light.  Stabbing pains in my ducts after feeding, before feeding & every time I think about feeding (or even when I yawn) has started to limit to the left side.  The only way to minimize the pain on the right is to shove my poor kid's face into my breast as squished as I can, to the point where I feel I am suffocating her & must make an airway with my finger to allow her to breath.  This makes it difficult to relax & as a result am in dire need of a massage & some Ibuprofen.  

We do most of our arguing back & forth when it comes time to feed.  I haven't yet grasped the idea of bonding with your child while breastfeeding, as many moms claim to experience.  I will be happy the day I don't cringe at the thought of feeding my child.  

But in the big picture, Baby Scarlett is healthy & plump, & despite all the hardships (with more to come I am sure) she's so totally worth it.